How Do I Honor My Parents (Part 2)

Honoring our parents can be done in five more ways:

6. Seek their advice.   

While we may have acquired so much education and knowledge, let it not rob us of the opportunity to sit at the feet of our parents and seek counsel and learn from their experiences.  It doesn’t have to be weekly or monthly. You may do it at least once a year. Find time to ask for inputs from them on what courses or jobs are suited for us or what traits are very important for them for a future daughter-in-law or son-in-law. That means, you would like to consider their input or advice in your career and love life. And even if you are now truly more superior in understanding on many things and many life issues, extend at least a token gesture of seeking their advice. Even if you won't actually subscribe to their advice, they’ve been honored to be given the chance to share their ideas with you.

7. Get their permission or at least give them information for your out-of-the-house activities. 

Many children at the adolescent parts of their lives have consciously or unconsciously developed an attitude of ignoring their parents.  Even though they still live under one roof with their parents, they seem to be living alone. They don’t seek permission whenever they would go to a party, stay late at night, come home the following morning, go away for a few days to wonderland, etc. Worse they don’t give information at all of any of their activities. 

Let them know your whereabouts so they don’t worry unnecessarily. Parents naturally fear that something dreadful might have happened on their precious child if they don’t get any communication on their whereabouts especially when time is approaching or going beyond midnight.

8. Get them updated of major moves or developments in your life. 

Parents will surely feel honored if you have wonderful accomplishments. It’s simply because a great part of them is in you.  You might want to let them know about these achievements. If you are getting married or starting a business, or going abroad, or simply moving residence, parents would appreciate if they get the news personally from you.

9. Introduce them to other special people in your life. 

Introducing them to others communicate that you are proud of them. Any person being introduced to one special person in your life would feel special too.  In spite of the many flaws in their lives and in their parenting, I believe you can always see beautiful spots to be proud of.

10. Extend loving physical gestures. 

Smile is the simplest of these.  Smile when you see them.  Better still kiss them on the cheek or hug them when you meet. During special occasions, you can embrace them to show them that you care for them. If you are not the showy type of person, then a simple sincere smile, with a little sincere "hello" or "hi" or any other greetings will do. Filipinos have the long-time good custom of “pagmamano” or reaching for the one hand of the parent (or any elderly) and the willing parent allows his/her hand to kiss the forehead of the child. That’s a great symbol of blessing from the parents, and a great gesture of respect and honor from the child.

Again, you can do any or all of these even for a single parent.  And even with non-biological parents, like foster parents or guardians, the same advices are applicable.

For those of you who read or listen to Bible passages, here are related verses found in Ephesians 6:2-3 “’Honor your father and mother’-which is the first commandment with a promise- that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”

How Do I Honor My Parents (Part 1)

Honoring our parents can be done in many ways:

1. Remember their special occasions.   

What are these? Your father’s birthday, your mother’s birthday, and their wedding anniversary are the major dates to remember. Greet them, spend time with them, dine with them, give them gifts.

2. Remember them during special holidays. 

Giving them a card at Christmas and New Year, and chocolates or roses on Valentines would send the clear message that they are being honored.

3. Give them a treat.   

If we have some means of income or have some savings, we may get a few chunks from this. Take our parents to a great getaway place, a vacation to remember.  You can buy them discounted air tickets, especially if they have never experienced flying.  Or simply bring them to a classy restaurant they’ve probably long been fantasizing of dining in.

4. Listen to them. 

When we get older, (sometimes even when we were still younger), we have a hard time listening intently to our parents. We equate them to annoying preachers. They sermonize.   Or if they don’t sermonize, they probably tell stories we are not interested about. 

Well, we don’t have to listen to them everyday.  But decide to set a time, or a day of the week, when you promise yourself you will give a sincere listening ear, even for at least 30 minutes to your parent’s “speech”. It will make them feel that their views are appreciated.

5. Serve them.   

For those who know how to cook, wouldn’t it be great to cook a special dish for your parents on one simple or special day?  If you have some special touch at massaging, you may want to massage the arms and shoulders of your parents.  A time will come that they would be too old and too weak and probably sickly that there is no other option but to serve them. But why wait until they are nearing their “divine appointment”.  It’s good to serve them while they are still strong and younger. They can bring along the memory for a much longer journey.

You can do any or all of these even for a single parent.  And even with non-biological parents, like foster parents or guardians, the same tips are applicable. 

More on next blog.

Kuya Tony