I'm Depressed...Please help!

Maraming maaring pagmulan ang depression. Minsan may mga tao, nadi-depress pero hindi malinaw ano talaga ang dahilan ng depression nila. Maganda na maidentify muna natin ano talaga ang ugat ng ating depression, at iyon ang bunutin o ayusin.

Isa sa maaaring pagmulan ng depression ay kawalan ng sapat na pagmamahal o yung perception na kulang siya sa pagmamahal na natatanggap.  The perception may be right...or it may be wrong.

Dito mahalagang tingnan muna ng isang taong nadi-depress kung ang perception nya na kulang sya sa pagmamahal ay tama. If the perception is wrong, then start thanking God that there is actually love being received. If, on the other hand, the perception is right, then you may start asking some questions like the following to identify the reason:
    - Am I hard to get along with?
    - Am I hard to please?
    - Am I not appreciative of others kind gestures to me?
    - Am I aloof?
    - Am I bitter?
    - Am I a notorious hard-headed person?
    - Do I often cause troubles to the people who used to care for me?


If you find any significant or relevant question from the above, and you see that the real problem lies in your negative attitude or outlook, then deal with that "root". Be humble to recognize a rather "unpleasant" reality. Start changing for the better.  Remember, real change in a person can only be effected by the person himself/herself. You don't have to change overnight. (Well, if you can do so, so much the better.) Change, normally, is gradual. 

When you become a person who knows how to appreciate the expressions of love, concern, or care of others, then the people who express these would be encouraged to express more. You will be happier.  You will be able to lift off related depression from your system. 

I said you will be happier! But you can go a higher level... you can be happiest!!! And how is that? Instead of always waiting for others to share their love and care to us, GO OUT... REACH OUT...AND SHARE YOUR LOVE AND CARE TO OTHERS. Probably the reason you felt depressed for feeling "unloved" IS FOR YOU TO BE ABLE TO SYMPATHIZE with others who are experiencing the same. And not only to sympathize, but to ACT OUT...TO REACH OUT TO THEM even as you are being reached out by others. 

Isn't it nice that the world would be a place of sharing noble things? So everything has a purpose. 


God bless,
Kuya Tony

How Do I Honor My Parents (Part 2)

Honoring our parents can be done in five more ways:

6. Seek their advice.   

While we may have acquired so much education and knowledge, let it not rob us of the opportunity to sit at the feet of our parents and seek counsel and learn from their experiences.  It doesn’t have to be weekly or monthly. You may do it at least once a year. Find time to ask for inputs from them on what courses or jobs are suited for us or what traits are very important for them for a future daughter-in-law or son-in-law. That means, you would like to consider their input or advice in your career and love life. And even if you are now truly more superior in understanding on many things and many life issues, extend at least a token gesture of seeking their advice. Even if you won't actually subscribe to their advice, they’ve been honored to be given the chance to share their ideas with you.

7. Get their permission or at least give them information for your out-of-the-house activities. 

Many children at the adolescent parts of their lives have consciously or unconsciously developed an attitude of ignoring their parents.  Even though they still live under one roof with their parents, they seem to be living alone. They don’t seek permission whenever they would go to a party, stay late at night, come home the following morning, go away for a few days to wonderland, etc. Worse they don’t give information at all of any of their activities. 

Let them know your whereabouts so they don’t worry unnecessarily. Parents naturally fear that something dreadful might have happened on their precious child if they don’t get any communication on their whereabouts especially when time is approaching or going beyond midnight.

8. Get them updated of major moves or developments in your life. 

Parents will surely feel honored if you have wonderful accomplishments. It’s simply because a great part of them is in you.  You might want to let them know about these achievements. If you are getting married or starting a business, or going abroad, or simply moving residence, parents would appreciate if they get the news personally from you.

9. Introduce them to other special people in your life. 

Introducing them to others communicate that you are proud of them. Any person being introduced to one special person in your life would feel special too.  In spite of the many flaws in their lives and in their parenting, I believe you can always see beautiful spots to be proud of.

10. Extend loving physical gestures. 

Smile is the simplest of these.  Smile when you see them.  Better still kiss them on the cheek or hug them when you meet. During special occasions, you can embrace them to show them that you care for them. If you are not the showy type of person, then a simple sincere smile, with a little sincere "hello" or "hi" or any other greetings will do. Filipinos have the long-time good custom of “pagmamano” or reaching for the one hand of the parent (or any elderly) and the willing parent allows his/her hand to kiss the forehead of the child. That’s a great symbol of blessing from the parents, and a great gesture of respect and honor from the child.

Again, you can do any or all of these even for a single parent.  And even with non-biological parents, like foster parents or guardians, the same advices are applicable.

For those of you who read or listen to Bible passages, here are related verses found in Ephesians 6:2-3 “’Honor your father and mother’-which is the first commandment with a promise- that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”

How Do I Honor My Parents (Part 1)

Honoring our parents can be done in many ways:

1. Remember their special occasions.   

What are these? Your father’s birthday, your mother’s birthday, and their wedding anniversary are the major dates to remember. Greet them, spend time with them, dine with them, give them gifts.

2. Remember them during special holidays. 

Giving them a card at Christmas and New Year, and chocolates or roses on Valentines would send the clear message that they are being honored.

3. Give them a treat.   

If we have some means of income or have some savings, we may get a few chunks from this. Take our parents to a great getaway place, a vacation to remember.  You can buy them discounted air tickets, especially if they have never experienced flying.  Or simply bring them to a classy restaurant they’ve probably long been fantasizing of dining in.

4. Listen to them. 

When we get older, (sometimes even when we were still younger), we have a hard time listening intently to our parents. We equate them to annoying preachers. They sermonize.   Or if they don’t sermonize, they probably tell stories we are not interested about. 

Well, we don’t have to listen to them everyday.  But decide to set a time, or a day of the week, when you promise yourself you will give a sincere listening ear, even for at least 30 minutes to your parent’s “speech”. It will make them feel that their views are appreciated.

5. Serve them.   

For those who know how to cook, wouldn’t it be great to cook a special dish for your parents on one simple or special day?  If you have some special touch at massaging, you may want to massage the arms and shoulders of your parents.  A time will come that they would be too old and too weak and probably sickly that there is no other option but to serve them. But why wait until they are nearing their “divine appointment”.  It’s good to serve them while they are still strong and younger. They can bring along the memory for a much longer journey.

You can do any or all of these even for a single parent.  And even with non-biological parents, like foster parents or guardians, the same tips are applicable. 

More on next blog.

Kuya Tony

Paano Ba Pumili ng Maayos na Boyfriend/Girlfriend (Part 2)

Pangalawang mahalagang karakter ng isang maayos na boyfriend/girlfriend ay UNDERSTANDING, or OPEN-MINDEDNESS...BROAD-MINDEDNESS.


Dapat hindi narrow-minded, dapat hindi rin sarado ang isip. Mahirap kasama lagi ang isang tao (at yan ang situation ng lovers, madalas kasama) na ang paniwala niya ay yung iniisip niya lang ang tama...ang pananaw lang niya ang tama. Unang-una, wala naman kasing tao na perfect. Ang karunungan ng bawat isa ay laging kapos.

Maganda sa isang partner ang nakikipag-usap at nakikinig. There can only be understanding if there is an open two-way communication and an open mind.


So check if your potential BF/GF is understanding, open-minded, broad-minded. Ang sarap kasama ng ganyan.


It takes some time to get to know if a person is really understanding. So don't rush into a relationship if you have just freshly been acquainted with someone. Remember HASTE MAKES WASTE.  Nasasayang ang maraming bagay, lalo ang relationship, kapag minamadali. Ang bubot na prutas, kapag pinitas, mapait, hindi makain, natatapon lang.


May you find someone who is honest and understanding...of course IN DUE TIME!


Be blessed,
Kuya Tony

Paano Ba Pumili ng Maayos na Boyfriend/Girlfriend (Part 1)

Malawak na paksa itong pagkakaroon ng maayos na boyfriend o girlfriend. Bukod pa sa lawak nito, ang dami ring iba't ibang pagtanaw at opinyon sa isyung ito. Kaya ang aking isi-share ay isa lang sa maraming opinyon na puede mong isaalang-alang.

For me, character is very important. Number 1 na sa character ang honesty. Parang kanta ni Billy Joel na Honesty... "honesty is hardly ever heard, but mostly what I need from you".

If a would-be lover is honest, that is already a big mountain off your shoulder.  Ang isang dishonest person kasi, puedeng magsinungaling sa tunay na status nya sa relationships nya, sabi niya ikaw lang...yun pala parang Friendster, "It's Complicated!" Mayroon palang nauna at kasabay ka sa harem ng lovers nya.  O di kaya ay may sabit, may asawa na, may anak pa.

Relationships thrive on trust.  E kung hindi honest ang partner mo, how can you give full trust. Therefore, your relationship will not thrive... it's going to be a big burden instead of being a great blessing.

Dapat ang relationships, blessing yan sa atin. In other words, nabi-build up ka, nami-meet ang needs mo. Dapat give-and-take, pareho kayong lumalago socially, emotionally, and in other areas. That way, you complement each other. KAYA NGA ANG TAWAG AY PARTNERSHIP!

Later on in life, this same honesty will keep you and your partner from getting dishonest gains...yung pera o resources na galing sa pangungupit, o pandaraya, o panlalamang sa kapwa. Surely you don't like to enjoy things acquired this way. Maraming temptations na ganyan, sa school, sa office, sa business.

It's better to see honesty already deeply ingrained in the system of your partner, than to wonder if he/she can change from being dishonest to honest whey you find out dishonest practices in him/her.

More on next blog.

Kuya Tony 

How Can I Be Happy Today (Part 3)

There's one unique thing that you can do today that will give you a different feeling of happiness.  Give, help, assist. Here are some suggestions: 

Think of a family member who would love to have your precious time spent for them or with them. 

Maybe it is your sibling who had long been desiring to play with you, go out for a stroll, etc.  Maybe it is your parent who want to have a casual, or even serious, conversation with you. There are parents who crave a listening ear for their stories and concerns. And giving them a willing ear to listen, spending quality time this way, is like a special gift for them. Maybe you can assist in cooking, washing the dishes, cleaning the house, tending the garden.  This is especially noticeable and significant if you are not accustomed to doing such errand. 

Maybe it is your friend who wants to simply unload some of his/her problems, ventilate his/her feelings, or seek your friendly advice. 

Think of a neighbor whom you can cheer up today. Maybe you can cook or buy some food which you can share to him/her.  Knock on your neighbor's door or call out, and hand this sweet kind token.  I'm sure your neighbor will beam with a simple happiness that will rub on you.

Think of a relative's child or any child in the community whom you know is poor and sometimes goes to school with very little or even no allowance at all. 

Maybe the child has no good shoes or school uniform.  Why not decide to give some cash for allowance. It doesn't have to be a big amount to be appreciated, baka nga pag masyadong malaki ay hindi pa maganda ang bunga.  

Or give away some clothes, like hand-me-down stuff. Pero tiyaking matino pa ang mga damit, hindi yung may mantsa-mantsa o may sira. Kahit ikaw, hindi mo magugustuhang isuot iyon.  Better still, buy a new one. That would bring tremendous joy to the child...and to the parents. That joy would boomerang on you and you will have a unique happiness in your heart.

Try them and make your day! Be happy today.

Kuya Tony

How Can I Be Happy Today? (Part 1)

Paano ba tayo magiging masaya ngayon? As in, ngayon...kasama na ang araw na ito. Or simula sa araw na ito. O kahit lang sa araw na ito. Pero siempre, mas maganda, yung masaya tayo araw-araw, o kung hindi man puede ang araw-araw, kahit man lang majority of the days of each week, masaya tayo.

Ang ating damdamin ay kusang naaapektuhan ng mga naririnig natin, mga nararanasan natin, at mga nangyayari sa ating paligid.  This is what we call our 'circumstances'. Ang isang taong nahihirapang sumaya ay yung mga taong madaling makontrol ng kanilang circumstances (unless of course the circumstance in point is jovial). 

Someone once said that our circumstances is just 10% of our quest for happiness...90% is attitude. Attitude...yes...attitude ang pinakamalaki.  Kahit gaano pa kadami ang nangyayari sa ating paligid at sa ating buhay, kahit minsan sobrang nakaka-overwhelm na...yung attitude pa rin natin towards an issue or situation ang pinakamagdidikta kung tayo ay magiging masaya.

Kabuhol ng attitude ay perspective.  Kapag nadapa ka, puede kang magmukmok at malungkot sa galos at sugat mo. At puedeng manatili kang negative about the accident. Pero puede ring ang perspective mo ay ganito: "Ganito pala ang magkasugat, masakit pala... now may added learning ako. Makakasimpatiya na ako sa iba."  Or dahil sa nangyari, natuto ka ng mag-ingat, at sasabihin mo sa sarili mo "Next time, I know what to do...I'm wiser now."  

Pag may ganito tayong positive attitude in any of and in all our situations, then we found the way to happiness...not only for today, but for everyday.

Be happy!

Kuya Tony

How Can I Be Happy Today (Part 2)

Have you ever experienced waking up in the morning and immediately, as your brain cells start to actively and consciously function, you receive an onrush of problems, worries, and fears? Worse still, there's a long line. Ha ha. Mga unang customers, kung baga. I'm pretty sure you had. And I'm sure you hate this kind of experiences just as I do.

Our day is affected by our thoughts. What fills our minds affects our emotions. Kung ang naiisip natin lagi ay negative, parang may tagas ang gasolina ng ating tangke. Madali tayong madi-drain at manghihina at di na magpa-function. The electricities and powers in our bodies do not seem to operate. And of course, malulungkot tayo.

You want to be happy? Fill your mind with beautiful thoughts. Thoughts about God and God's wonderful promises...thoughts about your happy moments with your loved ones, thoughts about the great potential of the future even though we have just experienced failure...thoughts about great beautiful things.

Sabihin mo sa sarili mo, "I refuse to dwell long in any kind of sadness, frustration, or discouragement". "I see life as exciting." "Makakabawi ako!." "May blessings na naghihintay."  What we confess rubs on our every cell in our system. So confess words that can usher happiness.

Be happy today. Yes you can! And you must! The best way to start is in the morning...first thing in the morning.
Kuya Tony